A few weeks ago, Governor Mike Dewine said he would reopen the state of Ohio at the beginning of May. Many businesses prepared to open up to sell various “non-essential” products, but most importantly, to cut hair! We were really starting to look like cousin IT there!
Many Ohioans were excited, particularly the businesses, as they have to sell their products and services to survive.
However, in a strange turn of events, Dewine canceled the opening last second. This of course made many Ohioans furious!
Dewine decided he would respond to the backlash.
Dewine: “Hello, I am Governor Mike Dewine.”
Reporters in Unison (& Daleks): “Yes, we know who you are.”
Dewine: “Oh. Uh hem... I noticed there was a lot of confusion about the state of state being open, so I decided I would clear some things up. My decision is as follows: I have decided I Will, Might, Not, Maybe, Definitely have decided to Possibly open Ohio.... or not...”
Reporters: “Ummmmmmmmmm....”
Unfortunately, that’s all he said. Which really leaves us in the dark. Is he opening Ohio, or is he not?!
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