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Jeff Goldman
Dec 23, 20241 min read
Miami University apologizes for being No. 7 Best Party School in U.S.
The Wall Street Journal published an article this year, and it lists the Top 10 Party Schools in the US. Can you guess which University...
71 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Sep 19, 20221 min read
Hamilton Chicken Says "YOU CANNOT PASS!"
It has been reported on the Hamilton West Group that a chicken is loose on Schuler Avenue. Hamiltonians found themselves helpless today...
38 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Aug 8, 20201 min read
Ohioans Partied Past 10:01pm while Dewine was in Quarantine.
Sure this proves the tests aren't always right, but I'm pretty sure Trump rigged it, just to scare Dewine!"
46 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Jul 31, 20201 min read
Local Economy expected to make Full Recovery from Mask Sales Alone.
We have bars open till 10:00, NOT 10:01!!!!! But that’s ok, cause the virus will get you at 10:01.
41 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Jul 18, 20201 min read
Unwritten Laws of Hamilton - Only Hamiltonians will understand.
The River isn’t safe. Yeah there is sewer water, but I’m talking about the geese.
123 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Jun 1, 20202 min read
The Roaring 20’s part 2 has been canceled. Studio blames Trumps Budget cuts.
Plot problems like COVID 19, and unlawful murder really screwed up the movie to be. Though studio directors seem to be blaming Trump...
54 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
May 30, 20201 min read
Hamilton might close down if we can’t get muffins.
Hamiltonians miss their small businesses, like really miss them. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to walk into a shop, and buy a...
69 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
May 15, 20201 min read
New York seized by British Red Coats!
The British: “Well it’s been a tough 300 years, but you just gotta keep trying! Eventually someone’s going take their freedoms from granted!
22 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
May 8, 20201 min read
Dewine Is, Might, Not, Maybe, Definitely has decided to Possibly open Ohio.... or not...”
Dewine: “Hello, I am Governor Mike Dewine.”
Reporters in Unison (& Daleks): “Yes, we know who you are.”
160 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Apr 23, 20201 min read
Everyone’s mad that they now have to wear pants again.
At first, workers got dressed, and brushed their teeth like they normally do. However, some workers have taken to simply not getting dressed
33 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Apr 16, 20201 min read
Thousands of pounds of fresh meat rots, as millennials can’t cook their stock piled food.
Unfortunately she smacked us with a grocery back full of prunes and yelled: “6 feet back, or 6 feet under suckers!!!”
85 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Apr 1, 20201 min read
Corona Virus discovered to be a hoax. Billions fooled.
The Corona Virus is a Hoax! China made it all up!
142 views0 comments

![Forsythia cures the Corona Virus! [SATIRE]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/a27d24_9b27f80b8b184371bc6a4dae169b73b2~mv2.jpeg/v1/fill/w_514,h_386,fp_0.50_0.50,q_90,enc_auto/a27d24_9b27f80b8b184371bc6a4dae169b73b2~mv2.webp)
Jeff Goldman
Mar 27, 20201 min read
Forsythia cures the Corona Virus! [SATIRE]
Can Forsythia Cure the Corona Virus? At least one Bachelor of Liberal Arts thinks so...
26 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Mar 20, 20202 min read
Jewish families will not open the door for Elijah this Passover. Fears over Corona Virus Spread.
Passover is coming up. However, jewish families have been urged by their Rabbi’s not to open the door to Elijah this Passover. Many...
15 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Mar 10, 20201 min read
BREAKING: COVID-19 has officially killed everyone who didn’t buy Toilet Paper.
Corvid-19 (otherwise known as the Chevy Corrol... I mean the Corona Virus) has officially killed EVERYONE who didn’t buy toilet paper and ha
92 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Mar 5, 20202 min read
Live PD agrees to do episode in Hamilton. Instantly regrets it.
“Many calls were for random booms, bike thefts, small drug possessions, and people driving without brake lights... Which to be honest, is pr
607 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Feb 27, 20202 min read
Giant painting of birds ineffective at scaring away Pigeons.
Except for the pigeons... they’ve breathed in too many bus fumes. They’re too dumb.. to tell the difference between a giant bird or a bagel.
53 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Feb 14, 20202 min read
KGB sets up secret Spy Network in Hamilton.
Have you seen these cameras around downtown? 👇 These are supposed to “monitor car traffic”, but is that what they really do?
118 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Feb 5, 20202 min read
City projected to keep asking for Road Taxes... Forever!...
2028 - "Please, please give us money!... We promise we won't invest in anymore scary nooks!
65 views0 comments


Jeff Goldman
Feb 1, 20201 min read
Meter Maid sends out Hundreds of Encouraging Letters
Miss Smith, a local meter maid, has been sending letters of love and encouragement to hundreds of local residents for many years.
34 views0 comments
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