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Miami University apologizes for being No. 7 Best Party School in U.S.
The Wall Street Journal published an article this year, and it lists the Top 10 Party Schools in the US. Can you guess which University...

Jeff Goldman
Dec 23, 20241 min read
72 views
0 comments


Hamilton Chicken Says "YOU CANNOT PASS!"
It has been reported on the Hamilton West Group that a chicken is loose on Schuler Avenue. Hamiltonians found themselves helpless today...

Jeff Goldman
Sep 19, 20221 min read
38 views
0 comments


Ohioans Partied Past 10:01pm while Dewine was in Quarantine.
Sure this proves the tests aren't always right, but I'm pretty sure Trump rigged it, just to scare Dewine!"

Jeff Goldman
Aug 8, 20201 min read
46 views
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Local Economy expected to make Full Recovery from Mask Sales Alone.
We have bars open till 10:00, NOT 10:01!!!!! But that’s ok, cause the virus will get you at 10:01.

Jeff Goldman
Jul 31, 20201 min read
41 views
0 comments


Unwritten Laws of Hamilton - Only Hamiltonians will understand.
The River isn’t safe. Yeah there is sewer water, but I’m talking about the geese.

Jeff Goldman
Jul 18, 20201 min read
123 views
0 comments


The Roaring 20’s part 2 has been canceled. Studio blames Trumps Budget cuts.
Plot problems like COVID 19, and unlawful murder really screwed up the movie to be. Though studio directors seem to be blaming Trump...

Jeff Goldman
Jun 2, 20202 min read
54 views
0 comments


Hamilton might close down if we can’t get muffins.
Hamiltonians miss their small businesses, like really miss them. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to walk into a shop, and buy a...

Jeff Goldman
May 30, 20201 min read
69 views
0 comments


New York seized by British Red Coats!
The British: “Well it’s been a tough 300 years, but you just gotta keep trying! Eventually someone’s going take their freedoms from granted!

Jeff Goldman
May 15, 20201 min read
22 views
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Dewine Is, Might, Not, Maybe, Definitely has decided to Possibly open Ohio.... or not...”
Dewine: “Hello, I am Governor Mike Dewine.”
Reporters in Unison (& Daleks): “Yes, we know who you are.”

Jeff Goldman
May 8, 20201 min read
160 views
0 comments


Everyone’s mad that they now have to wear pants again.
At first, workers got dressed, and brushed their teeth like they normally do. However, some workers have taken to simply not getting dressed

Jeff Goldman
Apr 23, 20201 min read
33 views
0 comments


Thousands of pounds of fresh meat rots, as millennials can’t cook their stock piled food.
Unfortunately she smacked us with a grocery back full of prunes and yelled: “6 feet back, or 6 feet under suckers!!!”

Jeff Goldman
Apr 16, 20201 min read
85 views
0 comments


Corona Virus discovered to be a hoax. Billions fooled.
The Corona Virus is a Hoax! China made it all up!

Jeff Goldman
Apr 1, 20201 min read
142 views
0 comments
![Forsythia cures the Corona Virus! [SATIRE]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/a27d24_9b27f80b8b184371bc6a4dae169b73b2~mv2.jpeg/v1/fill/w_333,h_250,fp_0.50_0.50,q_30,blur_30,enc_avif,quality_auto/a27d24_9b27f80b8b184371bc6a4dae169b73b2~mv2.webp)
![Forsythia cures the Corona Virus! [SATIRE]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/a27d24_9b27f80b8b184371bc6a4dae169b73b2~mv2.jpeg/v1/fill/w_514,h_386,fp_0.50_0.50,q_90,enc_avif,quality_auto/a27d24_9b27f80b8b184371bc6a4dae169b73b2~mv2.webp)
Forsythia cures the Corona Virus! [SATIRE]
Can Forsythia Cure the Corona Virus? At least one Bachelor of Liberal Arts thinks so...

Jeff Goldman
Mar 27, 20201 min read
26 views
0 comments


Jewish families will not open the door for Elijah this Passover. Fears over Corona Virus Spread.
Passover is coming up. However, jewish families have been urged by their Rabbi’s not to open the door to Elijah this Passover. Many...

Jeff Goldman
Mar 20, 20202 min read
15 views
0 comments


BREAKING: COVID-19 has officially killed everyone who didn’t buy Toilet Paper.
Corvid-19 (otherwise known as the Chevy Corrol... I mean the Corona Virus) has officially killed EVERYONE who didn’t buy toilet paper and ha

Jeff Goldman
Mar 11, 20201 min read
92 views
0 comments


Live PD agrees to do episode in Hamilton. Instantly regrets it.
“Many calls were for random booms, bike thefts, small drug possessions, and people driving without brake lights... Which to be honest, is pr

Jeff Goldman
Mar 5, 20202 min read
607 views
0 comments


Giant painting of birds ineffective at scaring away Pigeons.
Except for the pigeons... they’ve breathed in too many bus fumes. They’re too dumb.. to tell the difference between a giant bird or a bagel.

Jeff Goldman
Feb 27, 20202 min read
53 views
0 comments


KGB sets up secret Spy Network in Hamilton.
Have you seen these cameras around downtown? 👇 These are supposed to “monitor car traffic”, but is that what they really do?

Jeff Goldman
Feb 14, 20202 min read
118 views
0 comments


City projected to keep asking for Road Taxes... Forever!...
2028 - "Please, please give us money!... We promise we won't invest in anymore scary nooks!

Jeff Goldman
Feb 5, 20202 min read
65 views
0 comments


Meter Maid sends out Hundreds of Encouraging Letters
Miss Smith, a local meter maid, has been sending letters of love and encouragement to hundreds of local residents for many years.

Jeff Goldman
Feb 1, 20201 min read
34 views
0 comments
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