We covered the basics in our last Unwritten Laws article. Here is a new Top 10 laws, only Hamiltonians will understand!
Number 1: Kroger Cards
You don’t have to have a Kroger card... just use your Moms. That is... if you still remember that old landline number.
Number 2: Shortcut
Too much traffic? Simply take the Black Street bridge... oh wait, nvm. They’re either shooting a movie there, or spooky nook is in the way :/
Number 3: Traffic
You’re allowed to complain about traffic to anyone who isn’t from Cincinnati.
Number 4: Avoiding Friends
If you live downtown, The East side is for Grocery shopping, and Bridgewater is to avoid running into your friends. Unless they’re shopping there, then shop at the West side.
Number 5: The Pumpkin Festival
If you don’t go to the Pumpkin Festival, you are to be publicly shamed and banished to Middletown.
Number 6: Big Blue
You have to support Big Blue, or you’ll also be banished to Middletown! However, you still have to pay Hamilton Taxes.
Number 7: RIP Steak n’ Shake
You have to fully support a new Dairy Queen opening up where Steak n’ Shake used to be.
Number 8: Dollar Tree
There is absolutely no way we could survive without dollar tree. Period.
Number 9: That Random Boom
It’s not illegal to shoot one firework off at random times in the year.
Number 10: It isn’t Safe!!!
The River isn’t safe. Yeah there is sewer water, but I’m talking about the geese.
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