Many Hamilton residents went over their monthly budgets recently to discover that at least $1,250 dollars (on average) were allotted to buy pastries at the local Almond Sisters bakery. Jane Johnson, a local resident said, “Thinking back, I remember adding $5 dollars every weekend to my monthly budget. However, that soon became $10, and $20 dollars every week. Honestly I’m not complaining...” we noticed she said this as she pulled a blueberry muffin from a white bag.
One resident said, “It’s just so easy to run down and get a pastry. No complaints here though. Do you want this one?” He handed me one of their cheesecake cookies, but before I could thank him, he took it from my hands and ran. I guess he changed his mind.
Other downtown residents said the same. Some even accused The Almond Sisters of M.K. ULTRA like mind control. We asked the Almond Sisters about these mind control accusations, their response: “Of course you love our blueberry muffins, you’ll ALWAYS love our blueberry muffins!” We had to stop the interview because they stared at us so seriously. We may never know if they are truly using mind control. Though, we ourselves at The Hamilton Diary have to admit... we ALWAYS want a blueberry muffin.
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