Years ago, The City of Hamilton put fourth a plan to install a round-a-bout in a high accident prone location. However, soon after the round abouts construction, many fainted, got mad, and went to Facebook to write very angry comments. Many were upset because they weren’t sure which way to go. One driver said, “Like, if we both turn right we’ll crash right into each other right?!” Another said, “I have anxiety now because of this! There’s just so much stress in the world right now, I can’t deal with GIANT CIRCLES!!!”
City officials ensured round abouts are significantly safer than traditional intersections. However, Hamiltonian’s Spherephobia seems to have increased accidents by 974%. Recently, 10 drivers came to a round about and freaked out. It seems that they all tried going straight as they usually would, and crashed into each other. Fortunately the round about forced the drivers to slow down, so they only collided at 10MPH.
The City says it forgot to factor in spherephobia, so they will be taking away the new round-a-bound. However, drivers begged them not to, saying: "Please don't! I can't wait another year for construction to finish!" Locals say they are suing the city over mental health concerns, and plan to go to Facebook to write more angry comments.
Thanks for reading our less than true news stories! Please subscribe to our [Newsletter].
Comments